urgh!

currently hating my fat ass  and my slobbish life. Explaining will come later, just going to kill myself.
By that I mean go out for ANOTHER dinner. fuck my friends. love them, but right now I couldn't hate them more. I couldn't hate myself more. Just my self esteem and the effort I put in to see my pretty bones will be getting murdered tonight.

Fake a smile. Live to starve another day. I wish I could say tomorrow will be better. It won't. My friend wants to celebrate her birthday with indian food. INDIAN FOOD! pretty glad I broke my no purging streak when I got made to eat the other day. I'm going to fucking town. especially tomorrow.

Get through this weekend and I think I've earned another 5 day fast. Maybe I'll just never eat again. I hope so. I can't live with myself anymore.